


Hotel Ceiling

by paper_lou



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, M/M, larry stylinson - Freeform, louis is very sad, one direction - Freeform, tbh this is my first work please don't hate me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-30
Updated: 2016-09-30
Packaged: 2018-08-18 18:00:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8170754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paper_lou/pseuds/paper_lou
Summary: Hi everyone! Okay, so this is my first fic on here and it sadly took me like a month to write because I often lack inspiration. Hope you guys like it!





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! Okay, so this is my first fic on here and it sadly took me like a month to write because I often lack inspiration. Hope you guys like it!

_"I can see it coming round full circle my friend._   
_On the TV they said they had reported you dead."_

 

Louis stared blankly at the television screen in front of him; phone gripped tightly in his hand. The news anchor had been talking about the fatal finding for over two hours. In fact, every fucking news reporter had. And they all said the same fucking thing. The same monotone, uninterested tone as they reported the one person who actually mattered in his otherwise shitty and pointless existence’s death as if it meant little more than ratings to them. The tears had stopped long ago and after that, there was anger. Louis had lashed out against Liam; breaking his nose and busting his lip open as he screamed.

 

“You _bastard_!” Louis had screamed as Zayn held him back by the arms; long past trying to talk some sense into the broken man. “You could have fucking saved him! Why did you let him do it?!”

Liam shook his head as he tried to speak in a calming tone. He knew it was pointless. They all did. The moment Louis had seen the only person that mattered to him on the floor; cold and lifeless, there was no saving him. “He seemed perfectly fine and I was only gone for an hour. If I had thought that he would go through with it, I wouldn’t have left. You know that.”

Louis had finally broken free of Zayn’s tight embrace, his blue eyes that were once so bright; so full of life and hope when Liam met him at bootcamp all those years ago were now dead and empty. “I swear to God, Lou.” Liam said softly, noticing the very visible flinch at the use of the nickname. “If he had shown even the smallest hint of anything other than happiness, I would have stayed until I knew he was okay.”

 

Louis then stormed passed Liam, almost knocking his best friend over in the process. He didn’t even notice how Niall had been crying the moment Louis’ fist connected with Liam’s nose almost an hour earlier. He didn’t care, honestly. He didn’t care about anything anymore. The only thing he did care about was gone and so was any chance for the feather haired man to be okay again. This led to where he was now; his phone long turned off and his eyes glued to a screen that repeated the same story over and over again.

 

_“Singer from the internationally known boy band, One Direction, Harry Styles was found dead this evening in his hotel room. Reports of possible suicide and drug use have surfaced in recent hours.”_

 

Louis shook his head at the sound of the reporter. She spoke as if all Harry was was a news story. They all did and Louis hated it. He hated Harry for leaving him. He hated Liam for leaving Harry alone. He hated Simon for the sole reason that he was the reason why Harry was so sad all the time. He hated everyone and wanted to be wrapped in Harry’s strong arms; the arms that felt like home from that first hug on the X-Factor six years ago. He wanted Harry to kiss him and tell him everything would be okay. Hold him until they both fell asleep to the sound of their breathing and their heartbeats, but he couldn’t now. Because Harry was gone and Louis was lost.

The man stood from the spot on the sofa he had been sitting for over two hours and walked over to his laptop that sat on the hotel bed that he and Harry were supposed to share. He opened the silver laptop and almost broke down again at the sight of his background. A picture of Harry Louis had taken while his back was turned. It was his favourite picture of Harry. Louis stared at it for a moment before opening up Twitter and typing out a simple tweet.

 

_@Louis_Tomlinson: twit cam. 3 min._

 

Louis then began to set up his livestream before tweeting the link and waiting for the views to rack up to over a thousand before speaking in a dead, hollow voice. “Hey, everyone.” He said dryly, not even offering the smallest smile. “I’m sure you guys have heard about what happened to H-Harry,” his tongue fumbled over Harry’s name. Comments were flooding in by the thousands as he spoke. He skimmed over them, his heart breaking over again at their words. “What happened is the worst thing to ever happen. To me, at least.” He let out a dry chuckle, his voice cracking slightly. “You see, I was in love with Harry. Yeah, I know. Big shock, right?”

Louis had to pause to read the comments that were coming by the tens of thousands by now; all talking about how they knew it all along and more about how the loss of Harry had affected them. It was enough to bring a fresh round of tears to Louis’ eyes. He took a steadying breath before speaking again.

“I was in love with Harry. I have been since I was eighteen years old and I will never stop.” Louis was wiping under his eyes as he spoke, glancing up to the ceiling to stop the tears before speaking again. “I don’t know what I’m going to do now without him. He was my light, you know? He was the only one that knew how to make me okay when things got to be too much.”

His eyes flickered over the comments and closed his eyes after a while. “It hasn’t even been a full day and I miss him so fucking much. He was my everything and I couldn’t save him. All the signs were there. Every _single_ one of them, and I couldn’t fucking see them. What kind of person am I?” The air caught in his throat and he pressed the heel of his palms against his eyes to keep from breaking down right there on camera. “He always knew I was upset before I even knew it and look at how well I knew him. He’s gone.”

 

Images of Harry flashed through Louis’ mind, sending a shudder down his spine. Harry laughing, Harry holding his hand backstage. Harry kissing him, the sound of Harry’s slow breaths as he slept beside Louis. Harry’s cries in the middle of the night after being told he and Louis needed to stop interacting in public. Harry’s eyes and the way they brightened when Louis brushed their fingers together. He let out a shaky sigh as he spoke quietly.

 

“You see, most of you were right about Harry and I. We weren’t allowed to love. Simon thought it would ruin our image if Harry and I were to come out as a couple.” Louis scoffed wetly at Simon’s name. “I hate him so much for doing this to us. Doing this to him.”

A knock on his locked door made Louis jump slightly in surprise before Niall’s soft and broken voice called out. “Louis, stop. Turn it off.”

“No!” Louis yelled back, almost feeling bad as he heard the soft, unchanged man began to cry once again. “I’m sick of being silent. I’m done keeping quiet, Niall. Look what that got us.” Tears had begun to fall down his cheeks as he spoke to the camera once again. “Even now that Harry’s dead, they don’t want you guys to know the truth. No one wants to talk about us. Our love. And it deserves to be talked about. It deserves to be shouted from the top of the tallest building on this goddamn planet because that’s all Harry wanted. That’s all I want.”

“Louis, let me in at least.” Niall cried weakly from the other side of the door and if this had been any other time, Louis would have dropped everything to comfort the man that had become like a little brother over the years. But he was too broken himself to even think about helping someone else. Instead of helping his best friend as he sobbed from the other side of the locked door, Louis looked at the screen and spoke in his broken tone.

“Harry wanted this so bad. He wanted all of you to know about our love. There were so many times when he would almost just tell everyone. Post a picture of us kissing, kiss me in the middle of an interview. Anything to let you guys know that we’re in love.” Louis sniffed and wiped at his eyes with a soft, dry laugh. “The twenty-eighth. They day that you all are obsessed with wasn’t the day we got married. No, we never quite got around to that. That was the day I told Harry I love him for the first time.”

 

His story interrupted by Niall, who was sobbing outside the door. “Lou-”

“ _No_!” Louis said in a harsh tone, earning another sob from Niall. “You don’t get to call me that. No one but him gets to call me that.”

“Louis, please.” Niall begged. “I wanted to tell people, too. Please let me in.”

“I can’t.” Louis said in a soft, shattered tone. “Niall, my only reason to live is gone. I just want to tell our story. For him. For me. For us. I want to be free.”

When the once happy and loving man had finished his sentence, Niall’s knocks had become rapid and his voice desperate. “Louis, for the love of God, please open the door. Please.”

“I can’t.” Louis said, looking over the comments. It seemed most of the audience had caught on by now and were pleading for Louis to let Niall in. “I love Harry Edward Styles and I can’t live without him. After six fucked up years, he was my only hope. My only reason to keep going and that’s gone now. He’s gone and I can’t live without him. I don’t know how to anymore.”

He grabbed his phone and opened his Instagram app, scrolling through his pictures until he found the perfect one. Niall had taken the picture for him while on tour in Paris. Louis and Harry were on top of the Eiffel Tower, arms wrapped around each other and lips pressed together. You could see them both smiling into the kiss and it made Louis sob once at how happy he was in that moment. An echo of Harry’s voice whispering an ‘I love you’ for only his ears to hear edged him on as the phantom weight of Harry’s lips pressed against his cheek. He posted the picture with the caption that started all the pain.

 

_Always in my heart **@harrystyles** . Sincerely yours , Louis._

With that, Louis posted it and sniffed as he stood, his eyes on the camera. “I want you to know Harry and I love each and every single one of you. The ones that supported us and even the ones that didn’t. We love you all so much. If it hadn’t been for you, we wouldn’t even be here.” He was already moving to end the Twitcam as he spoke, tears flowing freely down his cheeks as he smiled brokenly. “Haz and I will finally be together. We’ll finally be free. I love you guys. Stay strong.”

 

Louis ended the Twitcam and listened as Liam, Zayn and Niall pounded on his door; their cries desperate and pleading. He ignored them and grabbed Harry’s favourite sweatshirt from the bed where he had tossed it the night before. Louis pulled it on, inhaling Harry’s scent as he walked to the large window. Tears fell down his cheeks freely and onto the sweatshirt as he opened the window. Stepping out onto the ledge, he closed his eyes and smiled slightly. He could already feel Harry waiting for him with arms wide open. Without a second thought, Louis Tomlinson stepped off the edge and was finally, finally free.

**Author's Note:**

> Yikes I'm sorry please don't hurt me.


End file.
